Fifty/Fifty

The Cannon Group was a film production/distribution company formed by a pair of Israeli cousins whose specialty it was to make big, dumb, and (most importantly) cheap movies throughout the 1980s. They are responsible for some of the most awesome B movies ever, including American Ninja, The Delta Force, Cobra, and Masters of the Universe. They finally bit off more than they could chew when they got the rights to make Superman 4: The Quest for Peace and realized too late they were way out of their league (the movie, if you've never seen it, is a giant stinky mess). A series of financial disasters later, Cannon resurfaced for one last gasp in the early '90s and released a few final films - one of which was 1992's Fifty/Fifty - before fading into the history books.

Fifty/Fifty (directed by character actor and Air Bud director Charles Martin Smith) tells the story of two former CIA operatives (Peter Weller and Robert Hayes) who bump into each other while playing on opposite sides of a failed third world coup. After they escape the island together, they are hired by the CIA to return to the generic dictatorship and train the rebels there. The duo heads back into the jungle and whips the locals into fighting shape, all the while cracking wise and flirting with the rebellion leader's niece, who also happens to be the least Asian-looking woman in the village.

I expected to enjoy this movie for purely ironic reasons, but holy crap was it so much more. The action is awesome and cool-looking, featuring gun battles and helicopters and tanks and grenade launchers and explosions and all sorts of badassness. Weller and Hayes are great, which sadly comes as a surprise because they're two actors who will never really escape their iconic roles (Robocop and Airplane!, respectively). Their chemistry is fantastic, and their "buddy cop" dialogue rivals that of any Shane Black script. Plus the locations were pretty beautiful, perhaps owing to the fact that Cannon probably owned a
secret jungle island somewhere.

Some things about it are weird, though. Weller and Hayes train the residents of the rebel village in what is meant to be a heartwarming training montage, although I couldn't help but think that instead of facing the rich kids' team in the championships, these people were going off to face almost certain death. And lo and behold, [SPOILER ALERT] THE ENTIRE VILLAGE, including the not-so-Asian love interest, is killed before the ragtag bunch even makes it to the President's palace. I mean sure it makes it more dramatic when the CIA cancels the mission at the end but Weller and Hayes DO IT ANYWAY, single(double?)-handedly mowing down the President and wave upon wave of his cronies in a hail of hot lead and bursting squibs, but come on guys. I was really starting to like that one weird dude with the eyepatch.

So why is Fifty/Fifty so awesome? Well first of all, much like Smith's Trick or Treat, it's a cheesy 80s genre film that's much better than it has any right to be. It's a competently made movie that has lots of great performances and practical effects. But more importantly, it's a great example of the kind of action flick that simply doesn't exist anymore - a big, kickass movie where the heroes smoke cigarettes, drop the f-bomb, and actually kill people. And that, my friends, is awesome.